Serving an LDS mission is something that I wish I could have done. When I was of age, however, I prayed and felt that it wasn't something I needed to worry about at that time. Still, even now I wonder if I would have been a good missionary.
I haven't had many missionary experiences. Most have been fellow shipping experiences. The missionary experiences I have had, haven't gone very well either. During my internship one of my preceptors (mentors) and I talked about religion often. He was Seventh Day Adventist. There is definitely common ground to our religion and as I was leaving, we agreed to exchange religious texts. I was SO excited to give him a Book of Mormon, the excitement left when it seemed like he wanted to Bible Bash more than anything. Luckily I wasn't even tempted to Bible Bash, but it definitely left a bitter and scared taste in my mouth when it comes to introducing the gospel to others.
Now I am a ward missionary who specifically encourages temple worthiness and attendance. This calling has helped me feel more comfortable in talking about the gospel to others, but keep in mind that these people have already accepted the gospel and gone to the temple. I'm just trying to remind them of those covenants. There are times that I get to go out with teh Elders when they teach. I have enjoyed this immensely. Today however, I received some validation for why it is probably a good thing I didn't serve a mission.
While visiting an older lady in the ward (who had not been able to come to church for a while due to health) her neighbor came over. She invited him in to talk to the missionaries. As I sat and listened to him talk to the elders, I felt my defensiveness rise up. I don't know if I could give specifics, but I guess it was the whole spirit I felt eluding from this man. Not hostile, but combative. Not mean, but cold. I sat in admiration of the missionaries as they patiently listened and spoke with this man re-iterating the things he said they agreed with.
In short, I don't think I have the patience and long suffering that I would need to be a full time missionary. It's something I will just have to work on before Aaron retires and we decide to serve a mission together.
...and We're Back!
5 months ago
3 comments:
You would have been a wonderful missionary! But...I know what you mean. I wanted to serve a mission someday too...but I don't know that I could handle the emotions that the missionaries go through. If someone even told me that they weren't interested, I probably would have just started crying and felt like a total failure. How awesome that you are a ward missionary! I'm sure you are amazing at it! :)
Carrie -- I think you are silly. EVERY missionary feels defensive when people aren't receptive to the message. I think that's the most natural thing in the world. The gospel is precious to us and it hurts us just a little bit when people don't recognize it for what it is. You would have been a great missionary then, you just weren't called to the work at that time. And I whole-heartedly believe you will be a remarkable full-time missionary companion with Aaron when the time comes.
That being said, when you're a full time missionary, you face that spiritual coldness a LOT and so you learn patience. You are forced to and the Lord helps you.
What helped me the very most on my mission, which was filled with bitter people (we had the headquarters for "Ex-Mormons For Jesus" Wheeee!) was learning to love the people I taught. I prayed every day to be filled with charity for the people I served. I worked hard to always try and see their strengths and remember that they are my brothers and sisters, children of God. It was hard, but in time I was able to see my own heart soften and my eyes open up to see them as they truly were. Charity, pure love, is a gift that we can ask the Lord to place in our hearts.
I think in your calling, since you ARE a missionary now and deserve all the privileges and blessings associated with the calling, that you can have that gift too! Try asking for it! It changed my mission so much and I know it can help you face your challenges as a ward missionary, too. I admire your thoughtful reflection on the experience and I can't wait to hear more about your future work!
That sounds like a neat and challenging calling at your feet.
I am sure you will do your best.
As I read your post I thought about my roommates, a mission in it self at times. One who lived to bash on Joseph Smith and all her "learned" theories of Mormons and our Religion, even horrible things about Pres Hinkely. There were may times I became angry and so hurt at what she said. The other was her sister . . . a bit more easy to be around. I took some valuable lessons form it, even if they never joined the church-but it has been 10 years-so who knows?
I am excited for you-good luck with your calling:)
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